The 44 Year Note is a suicide note, intended to take 44 years to write. I don't take it literally, it's metaphor. Not that I'm not going to commit suicide in 44 years, but it's sort a commentary on having suicidal ideation which is dangerous and scary (not in that order) but which nevertheless can be handled if it is, as it must be, addressed. Yet it might not be handled in the way you consider well handled. This is irony. This is an explanation. A long explanation.
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