Gentle vs Warlike

I was a gentle sort of child from the start.  Though I spent hours with ants and magnifying glasses, and hours burning wood and leaves with hour glasses, it never occurred to me to burn the ants.  When I first heard the idea I was aghast.  Ditto for pulling the wings off flys, turning them into walks. Not funny. As I grew older and found people of more or less good character had done, and quite... well I never did get the gist of that except it's some sort of spiritual damage or something.  Or else we are cats.  I have learned cats are naturally cruel.  Are humans really that way?  Am I not human?

I always saw things from the point of view of the animal.  Once my grandmother and I were standing on a bridge looking down into the water and we saw a fish.  I was too young to remember, but she told me that she said, "look, a fish, should throw in a line and catch him?" and I asked her what the fish ever did to us.  Perhaps my grandmother was making me this way, or perhaps I naturally have this perspective, but I do have it.

So the thing with a fractured family that is literally at odds with one another, one want to endorse them all, if perhaps hoping for them to calm down a bit. One sees the animal as victim of it's fright and anxieties, and it's behavior as merely a symptom of that.

Homo sapiens, the cromagnon, us... we're a pretty terrible lot.  I would like to think our dysfunction is a matter of personality distress due to the traumatic stress of centuries of slavery and war, but it may be that the slavery and war is due to a built in personality distress. It's conceivable and we did kill off all the other homo species. Perhaps it is all our children's nature to treat the weaker animals cruelly, just as kittens torture animals it is said as part of a training their evolution has inclined them to for necessary reason, given their way of life.

But then, am I someone with another way of life?  Does that make me not human?  How social are humans, might we have evolved more than one nature, just as it takes more than one nature to fill the more than one jobs humans have discovered for our group survival?  No doubt it takes a different nature to be a police officer than it does a doctor and than it does a teacher.

Am I one of those types?  What is it's purpose?  Or are there indeed many types, and I'm still not one of them.  Is it my brain development? I have hemorrhaged from a  young age ever couple years until 27, at which time the arterial malformation was discovered and cauterized.  Was my war-brain not able to develop?  Robbed of crucial pathways, it cannot form a coherent argument?

Or do I have the war brain but just like living things?