Carpet Cleaning

I have rarely had carpets as an adult.  My memories of carpet cleaning involved machines much more difficult and messy than the one I just rented.  About four months before my daughter died we moved to a new, much nicer house. I obsessed over the carpets, running around with spot remover.  Nevertheless "heavy traffic" stains showed up and I looked them up on the internet.  I put down throw rugs in those places.  The pets love the wall to wall carpet, I prefer wall to wall carpet.  

I began thinking about carpet cleaning and wondering what one of those machines could really do.  Then my daughter died.  And my family came.  And they are country which means they understand that in Hawaii you take your shoes off when you go in the house, but they it's harder to get them to put shoes on when they go out, and in the wake of my daughter with friends living here 24/7, then my family, the carpets went to hell and it was an odd emotional issue to finally, this morning, rent the machine, which was more reasonable then I expected. 

The nice thing is it's one of the few cleaning gadgets that more or less does what it says.  So the carpets seem remarkably clean.  And my thumb is sore.  And I miss my daughter.  Cleaning her room was the hardest. The stain where she left pink vomit on the carpet was already gone, I had cleaned that by hand the day she died.  That was hard too.  Still, I knew where it had been, and thought I could see it.

I often wonder whats worth living for even though I could name a dozen things including a loving girlfriend.  Maybe it's clean carpets.  But I doubt it.